Short Story About Chips
by UP864078
Summary: Danger Mouse and Squawkencluck try out a new chip shop for lunch, but the owner is quite unusual. Short story to entertain before next fanfic, "Trial and Error".


**Inspired by _Good Burger_, _The Inbetweeners_, and _Seinfeld_**

It was lunchbreak time. Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck decided to try out a chip shop named the _**Good Chip**_, as the two of them had heard that the food there was incredibly delicious. Danger Mouse was the only one who really wanted to try it out. Squawkencluck was only doing it because Danger Mouse heavily suggested trying it with him, and she eventually gave in.

'Aah, I see that you're trying out the Good Fish!'

The two of them looked over. It was Big Mike, still running his stall.

'Oh, erm, we didn't expect you to see us, Mike,' Squawkencluck nervously responded, thinking Mike would take offence to them going somewhere else for lunch.

'No worries, you two! It's a great chip shop!'

'I personally agree!' Danger Mouse enthusiastically responded.

'You know who they call the chef here? They call him the "Chip Soldier".'

'Right,' Danger Mouse responded to Mike. 'I think it's time to enter.'

He and Squawkencluck entered. There was the "Chip Soldier". He was a moustachioed bloke wearing white who had a strange voice that sounded like all four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles morphed into one. He was arguing with a customer.

'But you said you wanted nothing on it!'

'Yes, well I expected a burger on it!'

'Mate, a burger is something. You said _nothing_. Janet is a burger something or nothing?'

'Okay, I'll order a burger too.'

The Soldier got his tongs out and put a burger onto the customer's bun. The customer put the money onto the counter and left, nodding his head as a thank you.

Danger Mouse and Squawkencluck were next to order. Danger Mouse went up first.

'One spicy tofu wraps with chips, please.'

The Soldier gave a devilish smile and responded, 'One spicy tofu wraps with chips coming up!' He served up the chips, but then started to beatbox. It was clear that he was going to give Danger Mouse not a spicy tofu wrap, but a spicy tofu _rap_.

'_I'm the Chip Soldier and I'm here to say,_

_I love spicy tofu in a major way!_

_Yeah, I'm a spicy tofu say what!_

_What! What! What!_'

'**Stop!** What on earth was that?'

The Soldier said "That was a spicy tofu rap! With the chips, that'll be £6.28.'

'£6.28?' Danger Mouse was baffled at the price, but he wanted to get back quickly, so he said 'Okay, I'll also have some spicy tofu in a tortilla.'

'One spicy tofu in a tortilla coming up.' The Soldier pulled out the spicy tofu in a tortilla (a spicy tofu wraps in the most literal terms) and gave it to Danger Mouse, along with some bread and butter. 'That'll be £9.42.'

Danger Mouse was still furious at the price, but he just gave up and annoyingly gave the money to the Soldier. After he got the change, he tried his wrap. Suddenly, his annoyed expression changed into a delighted expression. It was _so good_. Maybe it was worth the price.

Squawkencluck went up next. Danger Mouse gave her a tenner – the lunch was on him. She turned to him with a disapproving look. 'Remember, I'm only doing this to make you happy.'

'Oh, come on, Professor, it's really nice!'

She went up.

'One veggie sausage with chips and a milkshake, please.'

He served up the veggie sausage and chips into some paper, wrapped it, and passed it to Janet, the cashier. Then, he pulled out a milk bottle, held it up to Squawkencluck, and shook it in her face. She just looked annoyed, and she turned and grimaced at Danger Mouse. She turned back.

'I meant a milky beverage, preferably chocolate flavoured.'

The Soldier stopped shaking the milk bottle and so filled up a drinking cup with the milk and some chocolate milkshake mix. He put that into the carrier bag at the till. Squawkencluck handed over the tenner. The price came out to £9.42. She got the change. She then picked up her bag, but she noticed something…

'They didn't give me any bread and butter…' Danger Mouse got it, yet she didn't. She went back to face the Soldier.

'You forgot to give me bread and butter.'

The Soldier responded with 'Okay. Can I see your ID, please?'

Her ID? Why did he want her ID? What did that have to do with bread and butter?

'You have got to be kidding me…'

'Can't serve you without ID.'

'But my friend got his without ID … I guess I'll just have the bread, please.'

'Both the bread and the butter require ID.'

Squawkencluck stared at him angrily. His silliness was getting out of hand. 'Look. I have come over here because this mouse here has been pestering me to try out this food area. And from my knowledge, these areas are supposed to take their jobs seriously. So, I'd like some BREAD AND BUTTER, PLEASE.'

There was uneasiness in the Good Chip. Danger Mouse was looking at Squawkencluck with a worried face. Squawkencluck was looking at the Soldier with an angry face. The Soldier looked back sternly.

'You want bread and butter?'

Squawkencluck smiled proudly out of accomplishment. 'Yes, please.'

'**TEN POUNDS!**' the Soldier unexpectedly shouted, catching Danger Mouse and Squawkencluck completely off guard.

Squawkencluck only squeaked out a small 'What?'

'**NO CHIPS FOR YOU!**'

The Soldier snapped his fingers. Janet then snatched the bag off Squawkencluck and swiped her money back to her.

Squawkencluck could only take the money, wondering what just happened. Danger Mouse immediately dashed out of the building, and Squawkencluck followed suit.


End file.
